Step 4
Embracing Your Ambivalence About Change
When substance use becomes problematic we always feel some ambivalence about it. It is important to embrace this ambivalence as a basis for considering alternative solutions.
Despite some awareness of the potential risks associated with certain substances, people still want to use them. Habits are comforting and easy, and they may serve important conscious and unconscious functions for us. Like old shoes that we have loved, shoes that took us to so many wonderful places and evoke so many meaningful memories, our habits are hard to discard—even if they come into conflict with our current lives and interests.
The investments we have in our old ways of being contribute to an ambivalence about changing that we need to embrace and address if we’re to move on. The parts of you that are threatened by your substance use will naturally feel at odds with the parts of you that are positively invested in it. But if both parts can be present in your experience at the same time, it will be possible to consider new solutions to the impasse.
Bringing curiosity and awareness to both sides of your ambivalence
Spend some time reflecting on and writing about the two sides of your ambivalence listed below. Describe each part of yourself in terms of its place in your life, its interests, energy, feeling, tone and aspirations. Discuss why that part of you wants to stay the same, or change.
The part of you that wants to stay the same and continue to use substances as you currently do
The part of you that wants to change the way you use substances
Decisional balance
This is another exercise designed to help you clarify your ambivalence about changing your relationship to substances. It also has been found to help people find their motivations to make positive changes to their substance use.
Fill in the boxes below to assess the pros and cons of maintaining your current substance use and of changing it:
